The Political Platform of the Satanic Coalition is straightforward and uncompromising. We eschew euphemisms, preferring instead to speak honestly and directly about our values and positions. This new approach to politics is willing to alienate the stupid and the sheep-like in order to appeal to the few who are intelligent and socially valuable. While unlikely to prevail through democractic means that tally the stupid and easily manipulated, this approach favors honesty over herd concern.

General Positions
Church Burning and Vandalism
Elimination of Judeo-Christianity
Genetic Engineering
Herd Domination and Individual Suppression
Individual Equality
Judeo-Christian Revenge
Our Plan for the United States
Youth Outreach